Live from Washington, D.C., it’s the White House Correspondents’ Dinner!
Longtime “Saturday Night Live” writer and “Weekend Update” co-anchor Colin Jost headlined the White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday, April 27, delivering a brutal, but thoroughly entertaining 23-minute roast, which poked fun at President Joe Biden’s age and former President Donald Trump’s legal woes, and mentioned his time as an aspiring journalist at the Staten Island Advance.
“I have to admit, it’s not easy following President Biden. I mean, it’s not always easy following what he’s saying,” opened Jost, a Harvard alumnus who was born and raised on Staten Island. “But before I begin tonight, can we just acknowledge how refreshing it is to see a president of the United States at an event that doesn’t begin with a bailiff saying, ‘All rise’?
“And I would like to point out it’s after 10 p.m. and Sleepy Joe is still awake. While Donald Trump has spent the past week falling asleep in court. Every morning, though, Fox News said he was just being anti-woke,” said the dinner’s host.
Jost also teased about how absurdly close the presidential race is, saying, “The Republican candidate for president owes half a billion in fines for bank fraud and is currently spending his days farting himself awake during a p*rn star hush money trial and the race is tied? The race is tied. Nothing makes sense anymore.
“The candidate who is a famous New York City playboy took abortion rights away, and the guy who is giving you abortion rights back is an 80-year-old Catholic. How does that make sense?”
JOST WAS AN ADVANCE REPORTER!
During his roast, Jost poked fun at The New York Times, Fox News, and the Washington Post, among others, and mentioned the Staten Island Advance, saying, “Like many of you here tonight, I pretend to do news on TV. I’ve done ‘Weekend Update’ for a while now, but most people don’t know that I started out doing the actual news. My first job out of college was as a reporter for the Staten Island Advance newspaper.
“They do not have a table here tonight, but they asked me to pass along this message to the other print journalists in the room,” joked Jost. “You think you’re better than me?”
He added, “By the way, I want to point out, when I worked at the Staten Island Advance, we had a daily circulation of 100,000. The Washington Post would kill for that.
“So as a former aspiring journalist, I want to genuinely congratulate all the award winners here tonight. The Correspondents’ Association provides scholarships to promising young journalism students who may one day be sent off to cover dangerous geopolitical hotspots like Columbia University.”
To the delight of Staten Island viewers and beyond, Jost again mentioned the borough and the slow demise of print media because of the swell of popularity of social media platforms, the source for users to get their real-time news.
“Did you know that 90% of people now get their news exclusively from social media?” asked Jost. “And that must be true because I saw it in a random guy’s TikTok. As a Staten Islander, I still get all my news from the New York Post, the only paper where the front page always has the same 200 point font, whether the headline is ‘World War Three to start tomorrow,’ or, ‘Central Park owl dead in building collision.’
“The New York Post is like having the New York Times summarized for you by a crackhead. The Times will say, ‘A border deal continues to evade Congress,” and the Post is like, “These Mexicans are taking my stuff.”
RECALLS LATE GRANDFATHER IN ENDORsem*nTO OF PRESIDENT BIDEN
Jost concluded his roast with an endorsem*nt of President Joe Biden because of his “decency.” He presented it by sharing thoughts on his late grandfather, William Kelly, the father of his mom, Dr. Kerry Kelly. William Kelly was a firefighter for four decades with the FDNY who died this year.
Jost’s dad is Daniel Jost, the chairman of the board of the Staten Island Museum.
“I lost my grandfather this year, William Kelly. He helped raise me growing up, and I would not be here today without him,” said Jost, who became visibly emotional at the start of the tribute. “My grandpa was a firefighter on Staten Island for 40 years. To make extra money for his family, he was a substitute teacher and he painted houses. My grandfather was another rare Irishman who didn’t drink because he lost his father and his brother to alcoholism. And I swear. Mr. President, this is not an age comparison. You remind me of him.”
Jost turned the serious moment lighter, joking, “Some of your best qualities remind me of his. And I will say he was 95 and he was still great at stairs. I think it’s because he didn’t try to run up them.”
Acknowledging that Staten Island is historically red (”Staten Island firefighters are not normally your demographic and about 70% [voted] for Trump in the last election, and the other 30% was for Giuliani”), Jost admitted his grandfather voted for Biden.
“My grandfather, a Staten Island firefighter, voted for you, Mr. President, in the last election that he ever voted in,” said Jost, following it with a voter-fraud joke: “I mean, I’m sure someone else will vote twice in this election using his name. But that’s just how the Democratic machine works.”
Turning serious again, Jost added: “He voted for you. And the reason that he voted for you is because you’re a decent man. My grandpa voted for decency. And decency is why we’re all here tonight. Decency is how we’re able to be here tonight. Decency is how we’re able to make jokes about each other. And when you look at the levels of freedom throughout history and even around the world today, this is the exception. This freedom is incredibly rare.
“And the journalists in this room help protect that freedom. And we cannot ever take that for granted. So, Mr. President, I thank you for your decency on behalf of my grandfather. And I thank all of you, almost all of you, for your decency as well.”
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